Amy Grace, A Beautiful Life Photo : Motherhood With A Camera

if i don’t have red, i use blue.

– picasso
my mom always told my brother and i not to compare our insides to other people’s outsides. this really wise advice seems to root itself more deeply as i get older. but i still have my moments of forgetting, of feeling less than, of feeling like the beautiful mess is just the muddy kind. there are many of them. i look at my mistakes and then i try to see the wonder of what i have done right. i worry about the hundreds of things that might rock the precious balance of our lives, then i try to breathe through the bumps that come. and when i take pictures, i try to balance out these feelings, balance the real with the dreams and feelings.
but a picture can frame the way we feel it all. the love feels perfect, and so i really try to capture that undercurrent in my real life – the live action variety. who are we if we are not the love we feel? so while i do not want to tell someone else’s story, i do want to dig deeper than the surface allows, in these wild, frenetic, untidy, loving times. how many of us show the whole picture? not many, i think. to tell our own truth is a beautiful gift. i think real does not have to be reserved for only the hard parts, and bad parts. we have only what is in front of us and within us. some days i am ready with my camera, others i am busy juggling those very things, keeping our lives afloat, letting a tear or two fall.
the life in front of us is rarely going to show up the way we once dreamed it. being a mother has shown me that i am not a planner, i have infinite patience for my kids but little for myself, that surprises and unpredictability can bless and haunt us. know that i find myself swimming against the current more days than not, that often, the shadows are more clear than the light, that i have a long and deep story that colors everything i do. every picture i take speaks of this, but the love laced between the lines gives me hope. my kids give me hope. so i will keep looking for the truth and beauty amidst the mess. that is where i want us to live out our story. i want to tell their story, not write a fiction, and i suspect i am not alone in this. none of us are perfect, but the love we have for our kids is close when we try our best.
 About Amy: based in San Diego, CA / website / contact / facebook
  • Ginger Unzueta - oh, amy i love your words this morning. you say it so eloquently..something i try to tell people so often. that life is not perfect 100% of the time, but that it is still so beautiful. i love the words that you say don’t want to write a fiction story. oh, how i pray i will accurately capture my children in these years so they can see their life the way i saw it. this sang to my heart today!!! xoxoReplyCancel

  • Monika Eisenbart - I always enjoy your writing Amy as much as your work. You can put all those feeling into words, which so so difficult for many of us. I love your last sentence “….I want to tell their story, not write a fictions…” so try and so beautiful. Thank you for sharing.ReplyCancel

  • Tytia - Wow!! You’re an amazing writer!! What a beautifully written article. You describe everything I feel as a mother, but have never been able to put into words.ReplyCancel

  • Debbie Wibowo - You are not just a great photographer but also a talented writer. It seems that you always know when to take pictures and link them with your beautiful words. How true it is when you said that the life in front of us is rarely going to show up the way we once dreamed it. But the courage to see the beauty amidst the mess is what makes you a beautiful person. xoxo.ReplyCancel

  • Laura Kuryk - Tangible beauty is flawed and deep and carries a story…being you and being perfect is allowing yourself to cope with the imperfections. you are perfect as a woman and even more perfect as a mommy especially, and even more so, because of all that you admit that others hide or repress. someone recently made a comment, “the prettiest girls are the happiest girls,” – sums up you and your children in these lovely photos!ReplyCancel

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